What Makes A Relationship Work? Ask a hundred different people and you’ll get a hundred different answers. Here's an idea you may have never heard before. A recent conversation with a friend got me thinking about our current perception of what it means to be “submissive,” and that maybe there is a totally different way to look at it. Instead of the stigma, what if it could actually benefit our relationships? Make them str...

As a therapist I see people almost daily who are trying to heal from the ending of a relationship. That can mean anything from a breakup after dating for a few weeks to a divorce after being married for 20 years. Typical emotions include anger, shock, confusion, anxiety, sadness, loneliness, and shame. Whether you are experiencing one or all of those feelings, it can be overwhelming. Even the strongest, most independent p...

Ahhh... honesty.  It can be the most refreshing part of a healthy relationship.  It can also be the thing that fractures a relationship beyond repair if it isn’t taken seriously. But is there such a thing as too much honesty?  Do you have to disclose everything to your significant other?  And when is it appropriate to confess certain things?  For example - do I need to tell someone on the first da...

And not in the good way.  Unfortunately.  I knew Mr. Worldwide sounded too good to be true. A friend of mine raises his eyebrows at me in situations like this and just says, “stop being surprised.” So I had been exchanging emails with this guy while he’s working and vacationing in Europe. Allegedly. He admitted to me that he “chooses to live” with his parents. Who live in Washington...

When you’ve been single as long as I have, you start to question yourself. Geez, is it me? Am I not skinny enough, pretty enough, funny enough, smart enough, or young enough? Is it because I’ve never mastered the art of walking in high heels? Because I’m fashion challenged? Because I’m culinary challenged? Is it that big of a deal that I use my oven for storage and don’t own a food processor? Am I really quirky and weird ...

In the aftermath of my 5 th unsuccessful internet-dating disaster, I’m trying to remind myself what a good date is supposed to be like.  The website has this feature called Date Spark.  The idea is that you fill-in-the-blank with your idea of a great date.  It could help start a conversation, or maybe it could be what you actually do on your first date with someone if it gets to that point.  I hav...

I’ll let you in on a secret:  I have a crush.  Yes, me.  The picky, demanding, skeptical bachelorette is genuinely interested in someone.  But he’s not from the website.  He’s a friend of a friend.  I’ve actually met this person in real life and had several conversations with him.  He’s incredibly handsome, smart, funny, athletic, and I’m pretty sure he’s even a nice guy. ...

I am still trying to figure out the method to the madness as far as how this website uses filters. When you sign up you have the ability to enter certain criteria. So naturally I filtered out all the smokers, men with kids, anyone without a picture, those outside of my min/max age range, guys that don’t have high school diplomas, etc. What I don’t understand is – the 45 year old divorcee’s with 2 kids still show up in my ...

Note to self:  Always have an exit strategy. I am, admittedly, a skeptical single girl.  But that doesn't mean I don't still have hope. It doesn't mean I'm not excited about the possibility of meeting someone new. The few dates I've gone on from the website were mainly out of curiosity.  What's out there?  Will this guy actually look like he does in his pictures?  Will he be as funny as ...

It has been brought to my attention that perhaps I focus too much on the negative.  i.e.:  This guy has cats, this guy has bad teeth, this guys has kids, etc.  I prefer to call it "weeding out," but I understand where the lectures are coming from.  I have to tell you though, when I sign on to the website and have pictures like this staring me in the face, the words that come to mind do not include...