Convince Me

If you've ever seen The Usual Suspects you know that one of the best lines of the movie is when Agent Kujan stares down Verbal Kint, not believing his convoluted story of crime and murder and just says, "convince me..." 

The type of guy I'm looking for is not an online-dater.  He's just not.  If he's sitting at home in front of his computer at night, he's trying to decide whether to choose Michael Vick or Joe Flacco as his fantasy quarterback.  He's not posting pictures of himself in white sunglasses throwing up gang signs.  Or even worse - taking shirtless pictures of himself in front of the bathroom mirror with his iphone.  I've been single pretty much most of my adult life.  There were some gray areas when I 'hung out' with the same person for a few consecutive months, but I'm not sure it counts if you don't have a title.  I've become fairly confident about what I want in someone and what my deal breakers are.  Which is why when my already married friends ask me, "why don't you try online dating?"  I tell them that it's just not my thing.  And likewise not the thing I feel a guy I would be interested in is doing with his free time.  Oh, and I'm not spending the money to find out. 

After countless arguments of people telling me I'm being closed-minded and I'm too picky, one of my best friends (who happens to be a single guy) says, "What if I pay for it?  Would you at least try it?"  And here we are.  I am officially an online-dating-website participant.  If J. is right and I find the man of my dreams, I'll pay him back double for his investment.  He can even be in the wedding.  If I'm right, I've lost nothing except maybe some time that I probably would have spent on Facebook anyway.  I will have proved my point, defended my opinion on the stereotypes of online daters, and hopefully will have gotten some entertaining stories out of the deal.  So I invite you to join me on my journey through this internet jungle that I'm sure will be full of cheesy headlines, deceiving pictures, and unoriginal profiles. 

I challenge you, Matchmaking Website:  "Convince me" that I won't be single forever...