Hide the Crazy

Part 1 of a 2 part series.

The definition of 'crazy' is subject to interpretation, but regardless of what yours is, I'm pretty you don't want the label. None of us do.

Here is my thought process on the subject though:
Every girl is crazy.  Every single one of us.  All to different extents.  But - the ones that can actually admit it are the lesser evil.

What do I mean?  Think How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.  Love ferns.  Tampons in his bathroom after 3 dates. Photo albums of imaginary children.  Or maybe crazy like Jess from New Girl who sings songs to herself all day and still wears overalls.  Or maybe you do other crazy things like calling six times in a row before getting a response, “accidentally on purpose” showing up at the gym/grocery store/his place of employement when you know he’ll be there, being vicious and violent in order to get attention, "forgetting" to take your pill, or flying to NYC to see someone the morning after you had a dream about him in which you visualized he was The One.  (In my defense, I have only done one of those things, one time, and it has made for a really good story ever since).  But like Kate Hudson's character from the movie, sometimes the girls that do this extreme stuff don't see anything wrong with it.  Yikes.  And then there is the other kind of crazy.  The kind that most of us will admit to ourselves while we're doing it that it's a little nuts.  Facebook stalking.  Going through his phone. Ignoring red flags.  Having too much tequila and turning in to an emotional hot-mess. Having panic attacks when we don't get immediate responses to text messages.  (I suggest you Come Back Down).

Like I said, we don't want to be crazy.  But sometimes past experiences or relationships condition us to be paranoid or have doubts.  So we do our best to hide it - at least from the guys.  We vent ad-nauseam to our girlfriends.  We cry, scream, drink, run, or work it out on a yoga mat to maintain some level of control.  And when we're in front of him we just smile, and laugh, and pretend that we didn't drive past his parents house last night to confirm that he really was there for dinner.

I'm getting to the point.  I also feel like despite the potential stigma, sometimes you have to take a risk.  Sometimes you have to do something crazy.  Break a rule, or several.  Whether it's to find a relationship, get your dream job, or you just feel like doing something different because you're bored.  So I did.  One of my recent matches was someone who calls himself Bullseyes.  (How there can be multiple bulls-eyes, I'm not quite sure).  But that’s not the point.  I looked at his pictures.  Eh - he's ok.  I really don't think I'd be attracted to this person in real life, but I read his profile anyway. All of the good-on-paper stuff was there.  6 feet tall.  Never married.  No kids.  Non-smoker.  And get this… he's a Sports Psychologist.  Two of my favorite things in one job title! I immediately drafted the following email:

"Hi. I think this is breaking some kind of internet-dating rule and will probably sound crazy, but can I buy you a drink and pick your brain about your job? Even if we don't end up being a 'match,' I think what you do sounds fascinating and I would love to hear more about it. Thoughts? :)

Yes, I used an emoticon. I think it was an appropriate time and place for one. But even if this guy writes back to my email that is clearly not hiding my crazy, it's only going to help my career.

I'm still going to be single forever.