The Relationship Resume

Sorry for the delay.  I’ve been busy with a resume. 

I’ve always been intimidated by conventional dating because it feels more like a job interview than something fun and unpredictable to look forward to.  You know what I mean.  The date where you are confined to the dinner table staring at the person across from you searching for the right thing to say.  Pushing food around your plate afraid to get a piece of spinach in your teeth because you’re not sure if he’d tell you after only knowing you for 20 minutes.  Trying to figure out if you’re making enough eye contact or not enough, and are his eyes on yours or… somewhere else?  And then because it’s easy, default, or one of the most basic questions you can ask someone, the conversation turns to your jobs.  So you have to go over the resume.  This is where I went to school, this was my major, this is what I’m doing now, and this is what I’m planning to do because my current job makes me want to jump out of a window.  As boring and unnecessary as I find that conversation, I get that it’s standard.  I’m ready to answer those questions. 

But I was not prepared for this one:
“So...something about you...something different...what are your greatest strengths you offer towards a relationship?”  

Huh?  Wait – you really want me to answer that?  How would you like that submitted?  2-3 pages in APA format??  I’ve been emailing back and forth with this ‘fun, outgoing, honest’ guy for a few days now, and he seemed like an actual prospect.  Until now.  I’m afraid even if I tried to answer his question, he wouldn’t like it.  It would be like going to a job interview where they ask your strengths and weaknesses in the workplace and your only answer is, “I’m sorry, I’ve never had a job before.”  When it comes to my Relationship Resume, I’m afraid all I have to offer is that you’d be my first.  (Lucky you).  I mean my first committed, serious, grown-up relationship.  Think ‘fun, outgoing, honest’ is up for that challenge? 

I’m going to be single forever.